


Scars We Give Each Other

by M3zzaTh3M3z



Category: Widdershins (Webcomic)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Mild Language, Nightmares, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Canon, Scars, Sharing a Bed, Spoilers, but only just, curtain call spoilers!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 17:09:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17084339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/pseuds/M3zzaTh3M3z
Summary: The night after the events of Curtain Call, Mal and Ben have trouble sleeping.





	Scars We Give Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> I tend to imagine after Curtain Call with their home gone Ben, Mal and Wolfe stayed with the Barbers on that farm, which is where they are in this btw.

Mal woke with a strangled yelp of pain, his skull pierced by thousands of hot needles.

 _Wolfe_ , was his first thought, but he was sleeping soundly, sprawled across the rest of the four-poster they were sharing with his spirit nestled at his side.

 _Ben,_ he thought next, no less panicked.

Wincing through the pain, he pushed himself up and squinted into the darkness. He couldn’t make out anything past his own feet, but he didn’t need to. On the far side of the room Ben’s spirit fizzed and crackled like a wild Catherine wheel, spitting out emotion – anxiety, anger, and fear. A lot of fear. Enough to hurt even dampened the way sleeping spirits were. A nightmare.

Mal held his breath and froze. Over Wolfe’s heavy breathing, his ears caught a faint whimper.

Usually, he would have left it. Rolled over, gone back to sleep and not mentioned it in the morning. Nobody appreciated reminders he could see their souls. After the day they’d had, that went doubly so.

(He kept glancing back to Wolfe, checking his soul was still attached.)

Another crackle of fear leapt up from Ben and Mal flinched. Ben wasn’t prone to nightmares, but after the day they’d had God knew he had enough ammunition.

(The sound of their souls tearing from their bodies had run right through him, like nails on a blackboard.)

Usually, he would have said ‘not my problem.’ But this time it was. Poor bloke had gone through enough in the past twenty-four even without… that. Accident or not, he’d still done it. Wolfe was always banging on about ‘taking responsibility’ or whatever, and this was probably the sort of thing he meant.

Besides, he could hardly sleep with a headache like that.

Mal slipped out from the thick duvet, sucking in a breath as his feet touched the cold wooden boards.

(This was about responsibility, not the way his chest had ached at that noise of distress.)

“Ben,” he hissed, padding closer to the sofa Ben had been given for the night. Wolfe was far too large to sleep on it and, before Ben could protest, Mal had thrown himself onto the bed, boots and all.

(It wasn’t because he’d wanted to keep Wolfe close by.)

The Barbers had apologised time and time again for the size of the guest room, and despite his protests had practically smothered him with cushions and blankets. He wouldn’t need the Sight to tell their hearts were crying out for their missing loved one, but they threw their energy into making their unexpected guests feel welcome nevertheless.

(It wasn’t his fault, she’d _chosen_ to go.)

On the sofa, Ben shifted in his sleep, his face contorting as the blankets twisted tighter around his tiny frame. Was he always so small? Awake, he pulsed with nervous energy and righteous indigence at an untidy world, powered by a surprisingly kind heart, bright and strong. Stronger than he knew. Now, swamped in blankets and an oversized borrowed nightshirt, his pale hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, he looked fragile. Once touch might shatter him.

“Ben,” Mal tried again. He tiptoed closer to Ben’s head and crouched. Despite the pain he tried to keep his voice steady. “Wake up.”

“O’Malley,” Ben slurred into his pillow.

“Yeah, ‘s me.”

Ben’s eyelids fluttered and fear spiked from his chest. “O’Malley, no… _please._ ”

“No? No what?” Yer not making any – oh, bugger.” Mal sucked in a breath as the realisation hit him. Ben was still asleep. The nightmare was about him. The big bad witch every kid was scared of. Much scarier when it was no longer just a story.

Maybe he shouldn’t wake him. He could go get Wolfe, leave it to someone who hadn’t caused this mess. But that was exactly what Ben and Wolfe were always telling him not to do.

“I’m sorry, Ben,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean t’ hurt ye. Or ‘arry, or Wolfe or –“ He trailed off, his throat tight. In place of words he pushed back Ben’s hair from his forehead, smoothing it down to the side. “There. Neat again. Since yer always fussing ‘bout it.”

“O’Malley?” Ben’s aura sharpened as he opened his eyes and Mal snatched his hand back. “What are you-“

“Nightmare,” Mal said quickly. “Came to wake ye.”

“A nightmare?” Ben struggled out of the blankets to sitting position and grabbed Mal’s arm. Wide eyed, he scanned Mal’s face. “So, you’re alright?”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

“Oh, thank goodness.” After a moment, Ben’s slackened his grip on Mal’s bare arm and sighed, leaning back into the cushions. “I was afraid you’d… well, never mind.”

Mal raised a hand to where Ben’s had been, stroking the bruised skin as he planned his next move. “Want some water or summat?” he tried. That was comforting, right? Wasn’t like he had much experience. Wolfe tended to take care of himself.

Ben nodded, arranging the blankets around his body, unusually restless. “Thank you.”

There was a glass on a nearby dresser and Mal handed it over, painfully aware of how Ben’s fingers shook. “Here. Better?”

After a few sips Ben handed it back, hands thankfully steadier. “Thank you,” he said, avoiding eye contact. Then he sighed and buried his face in his hand. “Oh, how embarrassing. So sorry about this. I caused enough trouble for you all already today.”

“Eh? Bad dreams aint causin’ trouble. When ye sweep th’ floor an ‘undred times, or say no smokin’ in the house, that’s trouble. Not this.” Except they had no home for Ben to fuss in anymore. Before they could dwell on that too long, Mal changed track, rubbing the back of head as he struggled to find the words. “Anyway, my fault in th’ first place. Least I can do.”

Ben looked back up, squinting in the gloom. “Your fault?”

“Didn’t mean t’ take yer soul and all that. Probably sort o’ scary thing that stays with ye.”

“It was rather frightening,” Ben agreed slowly. “But we all trusted you, and you did your best. It worked out, didn’t it?”

Mal shrugged. “Guess so.”

“We don’t blame you, you know that, right?” Ben continued, and Mal throat was suddenly tight again. “But what’s that got to do with this?”

“Um.” A smoke between his lips would calm him right down about now, but he wasn’t sure the Barber family would approve. He knew Ben wouldn’t. “Thought yer dream were about it.” Taking a deep breath, he forged on with the rest before Ben could deny it. “Ye – uh – ye said m’ name. And ye were scared… asking me t’ stop. So I thought, y’know… ‘cause of the witch thing.”

A few sparks of embarrassment crackled around Ben’s head. “I did? I’m sorry. I see why that would concern you. But the dream was something else entirely.”

“Oh.” Some of the guilt began to dissolve, though it would probably be a long time before Mal could fully forgive himself, even if his friends did. Without that guilt, he probably wouldn’t have said what he did next. He winced and braced himself. “Ye want to – talk? Bout it?”

He half expected Ben to tell him to eff off (not that Ben swore) but instead he tucked in his legs to made room for Mal next to him on the sofa. An acceptance and invitation without the need for awkward words.

The springs of the sofa creaked as Mal lowered himself onto it and he froze, eyes darting to Wolfe. Only once he was sure his spirit hadn’t stirred did he settle down the rest of the way. When he turned to Ben, he found he was watching him curiously.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Ben replied, but then he frowned. “Aren’t you cold?”

Mal looked down at the goosebumps coating his bare arms. He’d refused to borrow nightwear from the Barber family, instead sleeping in his vest and trousers as always.

(A habit formed young. It was better for a quick getaway.)

“A little,” he said with a shrug.

(He’d gotten used to the cold over the years.)

Before Mal could protest, Ben threw the blanket over him too and tucked it around his shoulders. “Honestly, you’ll catch a chill like that,” he said, straightening out the creases while Mal squirmed and protested.

(Not too loud, mind.)

Once he was satisfied Mal was covered sufficiently, Ben settled back into the corner of the sofa. He waved his hands in little circles as he sat quietly, as he often did when marshalling his thoughts. Finally, he broke the silence. “It was just a silly little thing really,” he said. “That dream, I mean. Hardly worth getting worked up over.”

Mal snorted. “I’ve seen what people get worked up over. ‘m telling ye, can’t be as dumb as half o’ that crap.”

“But it was just a dream.”

“Still scary. I weren’t ‘xactly resting easy m’self.” He rarely did, but he had a feeling his nights were in for a lot more variety in the near future. “Don’t need to tell me what it were. Only if ye want.”

“I know, it’s just –“ Ben sighed, the air slowly rushing out of him as his defences finally collapsed. “When we were running from Wrath, and you went back for that violin, I – I kept dreaming you didn’t get out. You or Wolfe, or b-both.” Fear crackled around him, rising with every word and Mal fought not to shrink back. “I was safe on the ground and looking up to the window and you just n-never appeared. Or, or I went back for you but the fire had already –“

Before he could think better of it, Mal slung his arm around Ben’s shoulders and rubbed his arm in what he hoped was a soothing manner. “Hey, it’s alright,” he said, as Ben trembled against him. God, they’d been through a lot together but he’d never been shaken up like this. “Yer safe now. We’re all safe.” (If he said it enough it might be true, even for Harry.) “And them bloody deadlies won’t ever get us again, ye hear?”

Bobbing his head, Ben rubbed his eyes with the back of his wrist. “I know. But knowing something in here,” – he tapped his forehead – “and here,” – he gestured at his chest – “aren’t the same.” He gave a weak giggle. “Maybe that’s why I’m such a bad wizard.”

“Mate, yer the best wizard I know. The only one actually,” Mal added, but then remembered he was supposed to be cheering Ben up. This responsibility stuff was hard. “But anyway, ‘til there and there match, me and Wolfe will wake ye as many times as it takes, yeah?”

Ben sniffed. “Thanks.” His aura settled down and he relaxed into Mal’s side as Mal continued to rub circles with his thumb. They sat in silence, each breath a little deeper than the last, slipping into sleep like waves washing up over them.

Eventually Mal mustered up the effort to shrug off Ben. “C’mon, can’t sleep like this,” he said, shaking the feeling back into his arm as he got to his feet. “Get cramp.”

“You’re going?” Ben asked. A new splodge of bright fear spilled out around him. “I mean, of course. Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you.”

Mal looked back to his warm bed, filled with the overspill of Wolfe’s enormous spirit, then back to the little sofa. Why did the responsible thing also have to be the hardest to live down? “Ye know,” he said slowly. “Ye could always share with us?”

“I – I’m sorry?”

Placing his hands on his hips, Mal adopted an air of nonchalance. “Bed’s pretty big. An’ warmer than by yerself. An’ ye could make sure we’re –“

“Alright.”

“Eh?”

Ben stood up and began to fold the blanket precisely, because even in the middle of the night of course he would. “I said alright,” he repeated. “If you’re sure we’d all fit.” Though his tone was measured and businesslike, he avoided Mal’s eyes and emotion crackled around him.

“Skinny thing like ye won’t take up much room,” Mal said. “But if ye snore yer getting kicked out.”

“If I snore?” Ben placed the folded blanket on the sofa and made his way to the bed. His indignant whisper was a relief after the way his voice had been cracking only minutes before. “You’re even louder than Wolfe.”

Hidden in the darkness, Mal grinned as he climbed in after him. “Can’t help that me nose got broke, can I?” He was up to three times now he thought, though numbers other than coins in his pocket had never been his strong suit. Or anywhere in his wardrobe. If he’d had a wardrobe.

Ben tugged the duvet up to his neck and smoothed it out. “You most definitely can. Stop cheating at cards for a start.”

“’s not cheating! Just ‘cause I can see what’s in front of me and yer all blind.”

“Hm.”

It was an argument they’d had many times before, so often that now it was almost comforting to go through the familiar motions. No matter what happened, Mal could always rely on Ben to bicker with him, though tonight he seemed too sleepy to come up with a proper reply. Good. That meant he’d calmed down, and now Mal thought about it, his headache had subsided too. Huh, maybe he was alright at this friend responsibility stuff after all.

He twisted onto his stomach and wriggled down into the warmth of the bed. “Night, Ben.”

“Goodnight, O’Malley.” Ben’s voice was soft; he was already half asleep again.

“Night, Wolfe,” Mal added under his breath. In all their time together, he’d never gone to sleep without saying goodnight.

(Did Harry and her wizard usually say goodnight? He’d never bothered to ask if they were together or not, though he didn’t need to Sight to see what they meant to each other.)

All that magic and running for his life had eked every last drop of energy from him. With his head and his friend finally at peace, he slipped back into sleep.

 

That didn’t last too long. Years on the road had taught Mal to be a light sleeper anywhere unfamiliar, Even at home (don’t think about it being gone) he’d often woken in the night at some faint noise and wandered around. Something grabbing his arm was more than enough to wake him.

“Geroff!” He struggled away until he saw it was only Ben and relaxed, though Ben still didn’t let go. “What’s th’ matter?”

Ben didn’t reply, only tugged his stolen arm closer. He was still asleep, Mal realised, though thankfully without the painful flashes of fear.

“Yer a clingy bugger, aren’t ye?” Mal murmured as he tried to ease his arm out from Ben’s grasp. No luck. Although small, Ben’s weight seemed to double when unconscious. Mal had noticed this twice when carrying him back from the pub, once when the Sight had overwhelmed him and once for more mundane though entertaining reasons. He’d never expected it to come up like this.

It didn’t seem like he was getting his arm back anytime soon, but it wasn’t so bad. Wasn’t like he needed his arm when asleep anyway. Mal adjusted himself to something approximating comfy again and closed his eyes. Despite the unfamiliar feeling, the extra warmth lulled him until he was almost asleep again.

Sometime later – maybe minutes, maybe hours – something brushed the side of his neck. A shudder coursed through his body, _get it off, get it off,_ and he struck out in blind panic, only stopping when he hit Ben.

“O’Malley?” Ben asked, his speech slurred with sleep. He half raised his head from the pillow they now shared and Mal shuddered again as his hair brushed his neck. While asleep Ben had shifted closer until he was in a ball practically pressed up against Mal’s side. As he yawned Mal felt the rush of air across the messy scar tissue of his neck. Some parts flared into feeling while others remained asleep and Mal was suddenly incredibly aware of every inch of contact they shared. Legs against his. Fingers digging into his arm. Warm breath brushing the crook of his neck.

“B-Ben!” Heat flooded Mal’s face and he twisted away, heart thudding in overdrive. People might not interest him in _that_ way, but anyone would be startled to wake up to someone – someone _nuzzling_ them. Even as he thought it, he was glad it was too dark for Ben to see his blush, but darkness couldn’t hide the way he spluttered. “What are ye – what are ye doing?”

“Hm?” Ben’s spirit was heavy with sleep and he took a moment to realise what Mal meant. “Oh. Sorry.” With another yawn, he made a half-hearted effort to shuffle back towards the middle of the bed, aided by Mal’s shove.

“If ye want summat t’ hold, grab Wolfe. Nothing can wake ‘im.”

Splodges of colour leaked through into Ben’s sleepy aura. “Was an accident, promise. Would never on purpose.”

The lingering prickle across his neck began to fade and Mal forced himself to relax. “Ngh. Don’t worry.” He was the one who’d told Ben to sleep here, though how was he supposed to know he was grabby? “Jus’ me neck is weird. From th’ scar Wolfe acciden’ly gave me. Buggered up th’ nerves, he said. Sometimes can’t feel nuthin’, sometimes feel everythin’.”

“Oh. You never said.”

“Yeah, well, never really comes up, does it?”

Ben shifted so he was facing Mal more squarely. The bright light of curiosity battled his muted sleepiness and he frowned before asking, “Can I see?”

“Eh?” Mal instinctively bought his hand to his neck, then forced it down. “I mean, ‘s not very interesting. But if ye want…” He scraped back his hair with one hand and bared his neck. “See? Nuthin’ interesting at all.”

Ben didn’t reply. Maybe he couldn’t make it out in the low light without his glasses. Or he didn’t know what to say.

Heat began to radiate from the scar that hadn’t felt such a big deal a minute ago and Mal’s nails dug into his scalp. It was only his neck – everybody had necks for Christ’s sake – but somehow the scrutiny was more exposing than being caught naked. Living in such a tiny house as they had, he unfortunately knew from experience.

“Ye done starin’ yet, nosey bugger?” Mal asked, snappier than he’d meant. He let his hair drop back to normal and adjusted the blanket around him until he couldn’t avoid looking to Ben any longer. “Ben?” Then he rolled his eyes.

Still half propped up, Ben was fast asleep again, his hair trailing over his face.

Mal laughed under his breath as he shook his head. “Didn’t even look at it,” he said, tugging the cover up over Ben. “Mebbe another time. When Wolfe’s not ‘ere.” A quick glance confirmed Wolfe was still sleeping soundly on Ben’s other side. Even so, Mal lowered his voice. “He still feels bad ‘bout it, see? Not like he meant t’ though. An’ he patched it up, which is more than most people do.” The one on his neck was Mal’s most noticeable scar, but far from his only. Not all were so accidental. He touched it lightly and sighed. “Anyway, night t’ ye both.”

When Ben’s warm hands found his arm again, Mal didn’t pull away. If it helped the poor bloke sleep then there were worse things he could think of. “Yer be alrigh’,” he muttered, his voice heavy with sleep. “Yer be jus’ fine.”

He drew the line at Ben stealing all the covers though.

**Author's Note:**

> Well somehow that took me like a month to write and wasn't really what I was originally aiming for but hey ho I kind of like it. Yeah they're probably wayyy more cuddly in that than usual but my excuse is I do what I want (and they'd had a very long day.) I just love these two doing anything together and it was fun to write! I hope you guys enjoyed it and though it might be a while before I do another Widdershins fic (I'm so busy atm) I hope that time will come soon! Thanks for reading, all comments appreciated :3
> 
> ******
> 
> If you enjoyed this fic, you might want to check out my others. I have fics in the [Supernatural,](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=27) [ Osomatsu,](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=7048385) [ Ace Attorney, ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=1034737) [ Haikyuu,](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=758208) [ Portal, ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=83491) [ Boku No Hero Academia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=3828398) and [Widdershins fandoms, ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3zzaTh3M3z/works?fandom_id=2511207) with more being added all the time.   
> You can follow me on tumblr at [ mezza-the-mez](https://mezza-the-mez.tumblr.com/) or my Widdershins blog [buggerup-busters](https://buggerup-busters.tumblr.com/) <3

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